Um, I guess the only “sign” would be that you are, indeed, breastfeeding your child. Ahem. Just go with this anyway — an exercise in silliness.
Here are 10 signs — 10 badges of honor (right?) — that you are a breastfeeding mama or that someone you are talking to is a breastfeeding mama:
1. The sight of boobs at any time in any place has stopped being shocking to you. In fact, you probably don’t even notice when a woman you’re talking to has been sitting there topless for 10 minutes after her baby stopped nursing and fell asleep (and she probably didn’t notice either).
2. You have at least one war story that involves bleeding nipples, mastitis, thrush, clogged ducts or low supply.
3. This has happened to you at least once.
4. You don’t even notice anymore when your baby is unlatched and you are sitting down/walking around with your boobs out.
5. You know how to unlatch your bra in your sleep.
6. You can tell the time by the pressure in your boobs. It’s not quite a Karin Smith-level talent, but it’s close.
7. You know the word “gymnurstics,” and you understand it all too well.
8. You have a love/hate relationship with the pump.
9. Your diet revolves around what might make your baby fussy or effect your supply.
10. You’ve had at least one person tell you that breastfeeding in public is like shitting in public — or any of this nonsense.
And before any of y’all e-mail me or put it in the comments: Yeah, yeah, everybody’s experience with breastfeeding is different, and not everyone even chooses to breastfeed. It’s not meant to be a debate. It’s funny, dig? Enjoy it for the lolz.
What else can you add to the list?