We had frozen pizza for dinner — cause we are classy as fuck.

I look over at Chris’ plate, and I realize that he has put cheese on top of his pepperoni pizza.

Me: Why did you put more cheese on your pizza?
Him: Because it’s good.


Me: Are you going to even try to eat better? (We are always talking about cleaning up our diet, and we always end up doing shit like eat pizza.)
Him: It’s pizza. It’s already a jumble of fat and calories and shit.
Me: You don’t have to add to it. I mean, you might as well throw a hamburger right on top of that.
Him: I’ll have you — oh my god, that would be delicious!