I am a crafty mutha. I can sew, I can bake, I can decoupage with the best of them, and I know my way around a Dremel. You show me something cute, and my first reaction — even if I don’t say it out loud (since I like to reign in my obnoxious when I can) — is “I can make that.”

It’s a sickness really. Today, in celebration of Halloween, I decided to pull up some fun videos on YouTube for Quinn and I to watch, and I stumbled upon a video tribute to “Thriller” made entirely out of Legos.

 

 
I immediately — and I do mean immediately — started thinking about how I could make my own Lego videos. I started making a mental list of songs that would be good to make (Gotye’s “Somebody that I Used to Know,” OK Go’s “Here It Goes Again,” The Grateful Dead’s “Touch of Grey,” and Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” if you must know). I started thinking of where to source my Lego men. I started mentally setting up shots. I started planning out my YouTube channel and figuring out a marketing plan. All this before “Thriller” was even half way over.

Let that sink in. These are videos that took about 3,500 still pictures to create. Each picture required painstaking setup of each figure. Custom painting figures. Creating tiny sets. Constantly referencing the source material.

You know — just a weekend hobby. Just something I could fit into my wide-open schedule. I mean, I’m already thinking about how I can hire cheap labor to do every last thing in my life, but I could totally make time for that.

All of that is to say that Halloween should be a total boon for me. I mean, I can make these totally awesome, intricate, unique costumes for myself and Quinn and Chris. This is finally my chance to make one of those intricate movie costumes I’m always studying in detail instead of paying attention to the plot points.

So with all my crafty skills, fueled by my obsessiveness and perfectionism, you would think I would come up with something really great for our costumes.

Here’s what we ended up with instead:

And I didn’t even make that.

Yeah, yeah, it’s cute. But interesting? Unique? Ironic, even?

No. None of those.

We originally planned to go as The Royal Tenenbaums with another couple, but we weren’t getting our shit together, and then Chris started clamoring to dress Quinn up like Link from Zelda. Of course, he also wanted to dress up himself as Mario and have me dress up as Princess Peach. And guess who he thought was supposed to put these costumes together?

Yeah.

I told him it wasn’t going to happen. But I agreed to make the Link costume, knowing it could be done easily from felt.

It should have been easy enough to find the fabric/felt I needed, but of course it wasn’t. After the sourcing headache, I finally cut a rough pattern based on her onesies and pants — it was all very scientific.

The morning of our Halloween party, I pulled out my sewing machine to sew it up very quickly. Of course, my sewing machine decided to stop working. As in completely. Perfect timing.

We made a hasty trip to Buy Buy Baby on the way to the party with me muttering the whole way about the generic costumes we were sure to (and did) find: “Gee, I wonder what we’re gonna find. What would you like? Ladybug or pea in the pod? Oh look…”

The elephant was the cutest option.

As much as I mourned Link, I came to peace with two things:

1) I just don’t have the time to help bring anymore of my scattered whims to life;

and

2) Quinn was an adorable elephant.