Famous Last Words of Childless People
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“Why can’t you let her stay up past her bedtime? It’s not gonna hurt her?” No your right it isn’t going to hurt her however you won’t be the one that has to deal with her tomorrow when she is cranky and unmanageable.
YES!
Um, I love this. I so laughed out loud reading this while bouncing my 5mo old and trying to stir my coffee at the same time:) Here are a few gems from my childless friends:
“Can’t you just give him a bottle?” (We are rockin out at nursing in public, he’s thriving at over 20lbs, no…I’m not giving him a bottle.)
“Why doesn’t he just sleep in his crib in his room? Then you could sleep!”
(Right, because him sleeping near us in our quiet, dim room is what is disturbing him, making him hungry, and preventing him from the 10 hours of sleep he’s been trying to get. Putting him on his own tiny jail cell in a room by himself is going to totally pacify his anxiety.)
That’s all I can think of right now because I haven’t slept in 5 months 🙂
hahah hang in there!
Oh-I love when my childless friends ask “Are you one of ‘those’ parents?” or “You aren’t one of ‘those’ kind of parents, are you?”
I don’t even know what that means…you mean am I one of those parents that carries my baby in the Moby because he likes to feel close to me and it allows me to grocery shop at a pace moderately slower than Supermarket Sweep? Yep, I definitely am.
After 4 kids (4,11,15,17) basically anything a childless person “suggests” to me is bound to drive me freaking batty. Because having raised not 1, but 4 kids (ones almost an adult!) I must not have any FLIPPING clue how to keep them fed/clothed/safe/alive at the end of the day. Grrrrr!
Love this! Going along with taking your child out of the restaurant, is when people get seated next to you and you family, give you a look, and then ask the hostess if they can move. So rude and presumptuous!!
I love when they comment on what to give my son. Or think they know everything cause they’ve been around children their whole life. Why haven’t you given him eggs. Can he have some of my candy. It won’t hurt him. Really??? He’s only 8 mos
She doesn’t need a nap. Why can’t she just skip a nap???
hahahahaha
“Can’t you just leave them with {another childless friend}???” said a friend about my 6month old breast fed twins and 22month old daughter so I could attend her way out of state wedding. Are you fing shitting me?!
WOW. Beyond clueless!
“Why is nap time so important? You guys need to make noise around him, he needs to learn to sleep through it.” “He’ll go to bed earlier if you just wake him up now.” No, no, no, and no. When his nap time is disturbed, it’s like waking a bear-not the cute Pooh kind but the angry “I’m going to claw off your face” kind. He’ll remain that way until bed time, when he decides he is finally ready to be pleasant, and he’ll be up bouncing off the walls until 3 a.m.
Been there. *sigh*
“You know, kids don’t have to ALWAYS be on a schedule. It’s important to teach them flexibility”
“You know, YOU’RE the adult right? Just tell them/make them _______. You should be the one in control not them”
“Um, why don’t you just do it while he’s sleeping?”
Um, because he only sleeps in 45 minute increments, and the first 25 minutes of that I’m still holding him until he’s in a deep enough sleep that I can put him down, and then I prioritize making/eating food or taking a shower. And I still only manage to shower once every 72 hours.
So no, I didn’t get those other things done.
YES! Had that conversation many times.
Omg!! This is my life EXACTLY and everyone wants me to just do everything while he’s sleeping. Haha not!
My friend asked me if I could leave my 6 month old with my mother for the weekend & go to New Orleans for All Star Weekend!! WTF???
Yikes!
I hated how a certain older person in my family always told me “back in the day there wasn’t all these crazy restrictions”. I’m sorry I got upset when you stuck a huge spoonful of food in my 5 mo child’s mouth when he had only been nursed or that I got upset when you fed him chocolate. And don’t even get me started about how livid I was when you said “parents are so crazy nowadays” when I got upset that you kept turning my son and your other grandson onto their bellies every time they fell asleep for a nap. Just accept that things change and that “back then” maybe they didn’t realize how bad it was for an infant to sleep on his stomach….UGH
I do dislike it when people bring their children to inappropriate movies. I can’t remember the name of the movie but I recently heard a child yell “nooooo!” and then start crying in a movie theater. So please use your better judgment when bringing your children/babies to movies.
I think there’s a difference between bringing babies and children to movies. When Quinn was a baby, she nursed and slept in my arms. She never made a peep. Now if we took her to a movie, it would be a whole different story. That’s why we only go to the drive-in now.
After Christmas Eve where my MIL watched my twins scream and fight because she got my 2 sons ipad knock offs and my daughter a doll, so that my daughter fought with her twin brother for the loud obnoxious toy kids love, she has the audacity to tell me 2 weeks later that kids do not get jealous at that age. Shut the *bleep* up. You had your boys 11 years apart and YOUR MIL raised your first son (which is why I married him because had YOU raised him, uh uh), don’t tell me that children, especially 2 year old twins, do not get jealous.
My sister in-law was sneaking diet pop to my 2 year old and when I found out and expressed my outrage I was told, “it’s only diet pop.” The same sister in-law did not understand why I did not want her 16 year old daughter watching said 2 year old while having a bunch of friends over for a bonfire, on a busy road, at night, with no adults home. Just because someone is a parent does not mean they understand your parenting,
“Just let him cry… He will eventually tire himself out and fall asleep”
Ugh
That’s one that really upsets me:(
My husband and I actually recently changed who would take custody of our daughter if we died because of a comment like that. We were choosing between his sister and close friends of ours who are childless. We were leaning towards the friends, when they started making comments about how I just needed to leave her to cry whenever I mentioned her lack of sleep. Well, that made the decision pretty darn easy right there…
Yeah, we had to make decisions for ours the same way. We chose friends who have a similar parenting style to us. There isn’t a single family member (on my side or my husband’s) who I’d feel comfortable raising her.
It was a “spare the rod, spoil the child” comment that made this decision for me. I can’t imagine my child losing both parents and then being thrown into a completely different environment he doesn’t understand (not to mention one i believe is harmful). We chose our only friend that believes in attachment parenting.
Love love love it. God bless you girl. i have no life and i love it because the babies are safe lol
I wanted so badly to read this to gain some insight. All were valid points, but unfortunately the authors over zealous disdain for people not understanding things they clearly are not capable of yet was just, too much to handle without being severely annoyed. Try not to perpetuate the same anger and narrow mindedness when driving your point. Hits hypocritical.
It’s not narrow-minded to be annoyed by people’s annoying comments, Marla. If you don’t like the blog, move on. The point isn’t to create some awareness or lead some educational moment. The point is to blow off some steam and to let other parents who have dealt with the same BS commiserate.
How long do you want to breastfeed her? (baby’s name) was only breastfed for 6 weeks and he’s great. Well, I’m sorry he didn’t have the opportunity to be breastfed longer. Go f yourself. She came out of my vagina, I’ll decide how she will be fed.
I was that party animal, kids will weigh me down, childless person. Now I have my 9 month old daughter and I don’t even drink or party anymore. I am way more compassionate towards other moms now. You just don’t understand until you have your own child.
Love this x thank you
My house has three stories, lots of stairs. One kid is three and the other just over one. Going up and down these stairs holding one kid,sometimes both has made me, not purposefully…skinny and muscular. My mom saw a video of me talking to an adult, something unusual…and instead if sayinf hey! You vot out of the house good for you! She says, you look too skinny are you sick? Are you eating enough? Grrrr….
My house has three stories, lots of stairs. One kid is three and the other just over one. Going up and down these stairs holding one kid,sometimes both has made me, not purposefully…skinny and muscular. My mom saw a video of me talking to an adult, something unusual…and instead if sayinf, “Hey! You got out of the house good for you!” She says, “You look too skinny are you sick? Are you eating enough?” Grrrr….
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“Oh, You haven’t showered in three days? Ewww.” Yeah, I was trying to decide between eating, sleeping, and showering. Some people call it ‘Me Time.’ It doesn’t exist when you have three under four. “That baby needs to sleep in a crib.” No, that baby does not. That baby can co-sleep safety with me and then there will be sleep for all in the kingdom. “Your spoiling that baby by holding her so much.” She was two weeks old. I’m pretty sure she has no idea what being spoiled is, she can’t even get her appendages to move correctly. I think I am safe. “Wow. I don’t know how you do it. You need some ‘Me Time’.” Yet again. Me time is deciding between eating, sleeping, and showering and if i don’t make the decision quick it ain’t happening. I have to schedule when to use the bathroom around mini-naps. Please! Tell me what I am doing wrong?!
I just stop listening to people. I also was never one to get mad at parents in public, I have been raising babies since I was 10. My Mom had my brothers late in life, and I started early. babies crying is something I can tune in and out now. lol
“My baby will NEVER sleep in my bed.” Until she does. Until the only effing place she’ll sleep is in your bed. Then suddenly you’re out buying a KING SIZED bed to make room for a 6 month old because ALL you want is a little sleep and if it meant putting her on your head you would!
Great post!
‘Is he old enough to just let him cry himself to sleep yet?’ Erm… No, he will never be old enough for that… (He was 4 months)
‘Just put a bit of jam on your finger and put it in his mouth so we can see his face’ about my 3 month old breastfed baby!
How about peoples’ reaction when referring to your decision to homeschool your child because he has focusing issues and has ADHD: “Well, why would you want to do that? Can’t you just medicate him so he can get a real education?”
Sure, I’ll medicate my child when the biggest side effect is loss of appetite and he’s already a picky eater. Sure, then I’ll have an anorexic on my hands, but hey, he can sit still in class and no longer be a “distraction,” right?
No thanks! I’ll do it myself, thank you. Then he can get educated and retain a healthy weight without turning into a zombie.
Crying is good for him. That’s how they learn.
“I wonder why she nurses ALL day. I feel like maybe it’s just for comfort? Or is she not getting enough? When I have kids I’m probably going to just bottle feed so I don’t have to do all of the feedings and so I’m not having to just sit there breastfeeding all day.” My friend constantly says things like this. I have a 1 month daughter who breastfeeds a lot and it drives me NUTS when my friend makes these comments.
“You’re not gonna breastfeed here here are you? Can’t you go in the bathroom? ” childless friend ( my baby crying hysterically at a resturant ) no I’m not going to sit on a toilet in a resturant and nurse my baby.
Nothing irks me more then women who have a “I’m a mom therefore I am” attitude. I would never tell people how they should raise a child or how I would do it different. I choose not to have children because I DON’T WANT THEM! That means I want yours a hell of a lot less. And guess what? YOU wanted those little tricycle motors. This does not mean that I want to deal with them! If I wanted to deal with children I would HAVE them! Seriously? If I was flipping out and carrying on in a restaurant, I would have to leave or get arrested.(In the adult world, its called disorderly conduct.) What makes a child any different? And its not the teething child that bothers me, or even the 2 year old that’s throwing the tantrum. Its the irresponsible mother that brings her child to the salon for 2 hours, pays them NO MIND and gently whispers “Stop that Billy” while the little shit proceeds to tear the place to shreds. And you want a good friend? Here’s one! Geez, us people with no kids just LOVE being invited to all your kids birthday parties, christenings, communions, and everything else in between with gifts in tow when we have absolutely NO intentions of ever having children of our own so you can return the favor. If you want kids, say adios to your life as you know it. It’s the path you chose. I, for one, am thrilled that I can sleep late, go wherever I want, enjoy the gym, a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, shopping, uninterrupted “ME” time and all my finances! I chose this! Don’t complain about the path you choose! I have been taking birth control for the last 20 years for a reason! Being a Mom is a responsibility and a JOB. Don’t apply if you don’t want the position. And don’t bitch if you get it.
http://youtu.be/x81M3g3zjXc
I love your response. I just LOVE your response.Good way to handle a troll
Childless adults and soon-to-be parents COMPLETELY overestimate what can be accomplished when babies sleep/children nap. They look at it from a lens of “If I was me, and I was babysitting a sleeping child, I could get so much done.” Well, you will no longer be you. You will be a shell of your former self. Totally frazzled, in a dazed stuper due to sleep deprivation. You will, at times, be barely functioning and able to even think clearly. You won’t even know where to start. Once you do, baby is awake again. That’s #1. Number 2 — You have totally taken for granted the time it takes to do simple daily tasks such as brush your teeth, bathe, and eat. You will find that nap time does not offer enough time for you to do even all of those basic essentials. Getting through one 24 hour chunk having showered and eaten a few healthy meals is a feat. Doing more than that can quickly become impossible. Number 3: There will be many, many times when getting the baby/child to sleep is so painfully laborious that trying to move him/her from your lap or chest into the crib is just not an option, lest you want to repeat another round of bouncing crying babe in arms around room in endless circles while saying “sshhh” rhythmically over and over and over again. Number 4: Your baby/kid is going to be sick. Like, A LOT. To a new parent, this can be terrifying. All the little coughs, gags, gurgles, fevers. You may not have the will or sense to leave baby’s side. SO … No, you can’t get shit done “while they nap.”
When my now 10 month old baby was 3 weeks old, my then best friend asked: can’t you just leave her with her dad and come have a beer with us? hum… no. The same friends keep asking: when are we going out like we used to? like… all night? I keep saying “soon”, just to finish the conversation, but the truth is, I honestly prefer hanging out with my daughter on most saturday nights, i need to sleep early because I am tired for the week, and I am not going to waste my precious sleep hours watching friends getting drunk (I don’t drink more than 2 beers in the same day because I am breastfeeding and we co-sleep), like they used to do 5 years ago. My kid does something new every week, and most times I am not there to see her doing it for the first time. Love your blog, Maria <3